Not What It Seems

In the three months we’ve lived in our new apartment, Mom and I have seen lots of deer,

a million birds, a ton of chipmunks, a spider, a bee,

*not the actual bee*

and three dead snakes.

*actual snake corpse*

Once I was in the dog park and there was a little brown dog in there with me. I wanted to play with him, but he kept ignoring me. When I sniffed him, he smelled like laundry detergent. Mom said, “Get it!” and “Fetch it!” and “Ugh. Why do I bother?”

What’s up with this guy?

This week, we ALMOST saw another dead snake, but then when we got closer, it was a shoelace.

Things are not always what they seem!

Recently, Mom got a critique of one of her stories.

The main suggestion was to “try putting some humor in.” GAH! She already thought there WAS humor in there!

Surprise! To her, it seemed funny, but it wasn’t what it seemed. Oh well. At least she knows what to work on.

First she will head to the library to read some of the books suggested to see the kind of humor she SHOULD have had in her story. Hopefully, she will be able to add in or switch out some of the events with the right humor that really IS what it seems.

Plus if we see another dead snake, I plan to roll on it and smear his guts all over my furs and smear my furs all over his guts. If I’m quick enough I may be able to pull it off this time. …unless it’s another shoelace.

*actual shoelace* Bummer…

 

 

 

Inspirational Quote of the Week

“Education is learning what you didn’t know you didn’t know.”
~Daniel Boorstin~

I’m pretty sure Mom doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. That’s probably because she thinks she knows everything. At least that’s how she acts sometimes!

Recently she signed herself up for a webinar called Picture Books in Focus, so I think she’s ready to learn something new. Ugh. Now she’ll REALLY think she knows it all! She says she’s hoping to learn how to focus and structure her stories better. Maya Angelou says, “When you know better you do better.” So, I guess that’s what Mom is after, because who doesn’t want to do better?!

I ALWAYS learn new things. Mostly because I forget what I knew yesterday. I can sit

and stay

and come and lie down and roll over.

I can beg

and high five and give my paw and dance.

I also knock down bowling pins

and pyramids of paper cups

and sniff out hidden dental treats when Mom says, “Find it.”

Found it!

In case I accidentally forget one of my tricks,

Mom practices it with me till I remember.

….or not…

Two tricks I don’t know and can’t seem to learn are fetch and hide and seek. When Mom hides from me, she stands there quietly like an idiot and I never bother looking for her. I just wait till she gets bored and comes out on her own. When she tells me to fetch something, I usually bring it on the couch and try to hatch it like an egg.

I wonder if there’s a webinar for that!

 

 

Countdown Wednesday

Today, Mom and I are counting down about favorites.

My Favorites

3. Eating is my favorite activity. Sometimes, Mom adds chicken pieces to my kibbles. Sometimes, she puts in some carrots or green beans. If she gives me plain kibbles, I look at her like…

Seriously??

Plain kibbles are not OK.

That’s more like it!

2. My favorite place to sleep is in Mom’s bed. I am very cuddly in that thing. Plus, I like to stay under the covers. Waaaay under the covers.

1. My favorite toy is….

Um…. GAH! I love them all!

Mom’s Favorites

3. Morning is Mom’s favorite time to work on writing stories. She dreamed that she would do all her writing in her pajamas,

but she can’t manage it. She flies out of bed and dives into the shower at the crack of dark, and then gets dressed so we can go for a walk.

2. Mom loves both her published stories – her print book –

and her eBook –

but her favorite pre-published books are named Ballet Secret and Cupcake Learns. She always wants one of them to become the elusive Book#2. So far… Nope.

1. Mom’s favorite part of being an author is school visits. She loves reading stories to kids and talking to them about writing and being an author. Sometime soon, I plan to go to school with her…

Backpack, books, apple for the teacher… I’m ready!

 

Mess

Mom’s latest story is pretty much of a mess.

It’s shifting focus all over the place, getting longer, but going nowhere, and Martin is stuck in the basement with no suspense, no crisis, no obstacles, no nuthin’. AND some of the secondary characters are trying to take over Martin’s spot as star of the book. Not cool. Mom will move on to a new story on Monday. Bye, Martin. We’ll see you around the neighborhood. Another time. Maybe.

Messes happen. Nobody knows that better than I do. I’ve been a mess-making champion from way back.

In the morning, after my walk, I take a crazy fit and play with toys and run and zoom and slide all over the place.

*sigh* That was fun…

In the afternoon, I get a special treat, and it’s so delicious that I lick and lick and lick the spot where it was until there’s a wet spot on the floor that’s 92 times bigger than the treat.

After dinner, I make myself comfy on the couch for some TV. Most times, I have to rearrange the cover that Mom has to protect the material from my furs and nails.

Mom says, “Cover.” I say, “Uncover.”

When messes happen, there’s only one thing to do. Clean them up!

 

 

Inspirational Quote of the Week

I love children (and also wet cement, but that’s another story for another time.). Mostly children are just my size. I love to taste them and snuggle up next to them (and also hump them, but that’s another story for another time.).

I see children at the library when they come to tell me stories at Read to a Pet Night.

Sometimes they taste like gum. And mac and cheese. A lot of them choose doggie books which I appreciate.

But I’m a good girl and listen politely, even when the book is about a C-A-T or FlyGuy or ToyStory.

Sometimes, I see children at the VA when they are visiting an old soldier that they know and love. I mean what’s not to love about an old soldier? They’re adorable. And more importantly, they think I’m adorable. #thingsthatmatter

Being adorable.

Mom writes stories for children. Long ago, she took a class and tried to write an adult story. It FELT horrible when she was doing it, it SOUNDED horrible when she read it to herself, and everybody she read it to said it WAS horrible. So yeah. I guess spending 35 years surrounded by children makes your head work in a certain way that’s tough to fight and impossible to change.

She is always careful about what she writes and how she writes it because just like when she was a teacher, she wants children to remember her words in a good way that will stick with them (like cement) and make them grow up into better humans.

Mom has not forgotten about her dark-of-night challenge.

She has started her story and is wondering if it will ever make it to the night. So far, no. But her character named Martin might take it that way eventually… I’m hoping so, for Mom’s sake. And hoping not for mine. And Martin’s.

Aargh…

 

 

Setting

I don’t like dark. Or storms. Or night. Our house is rarely ever completely dark. It has TV light ALL the time and a hundred night lights that switch on automatically as soon as night tries to sneak in.

Day is my favorite time. I’m all about sunshine and sparkle and bright and light.

Mom’s favorite time is morning. She is always up and att’em early. That’s her best time to write and her best time to do most everything – clean, swim, get ideas, take me for a walk, meditate, and cook.

Ugh… Not yet!

Her stories usually take place during the daytime. That is part of what is called setting. It sounds like sitting,

but apparently it’s not. When Mom said she was working on setting, I said, “…so am I!”

Nope.

Anyway, dark is scary and Mom doesn’t usually write scary things. But she has a challenging plan for herself. The next story she writes will take place at night or in a dark place.

*gulp*

Mom doesn’t have her next story idea, yet, but she will check her lists and choose an idea or two that she can mix together and take to the night. I typically like helping Mom work,

Helping.

but if there’s anything dark involved…

Nope.

She’s on her own.

 

 

Getting Normal

Things are getting back to normal around here. Almost.

I still have trouble figuring out how to work my blanket bed,

Wait. What?

and I still nap on the couch.

That’s normal. Except I have to wear a shirt so my furs don’t get all over the place too much.

Mom tamed the wild wires and organized her desk.

She even stared at a few stories on her computer, checked off her most recent rejections in her record notebook, and actually wrote a sentence or two in her latest story – which happens to be about a doggie. That’s normal. Except she does her work in the bedroom now, so I am forced to stare at her from my dogbed.

I tried to take a street nap in the parking lot by our new house, but a lot of the normal drama is gone because there’s hardly any traffic.

Where is everybody?

This is street nap 2.0 – on the porch.

Mom found the public library in our new neighborhood, but hasn’t stopped in for a normal pile of picture books to read. She is falling behind in her goal to read 200 books this year, but plans to catch up soon.

I am falling behind I my normal goal to take 200 naps each day, but I plan to catch up soon.

I still help Mom type, but instead of making my usual story of QQQQQQQ with my ear, I type DDDDDDFFFFFCCCCCVVVVV with my paw.

When my “story” is finished, Mom usually calls me the name of Knucklehead… I guess that’s another name for best selling author.

Let me try this blanket bed again….

 

Nailed it!