Countdown Wednesday

Today, Mom and I are counting down about a author visits. She’s going to visit a school on Friday, so she can talk about being a writer, and read her book to the kids there.

Why I don’t like author visits.

3. Staying by myself. Mom will go away in the car for a long time. That means, no walking at the park, no jumping through my hula hoop, no treats in my IQ puzzles, and no bowling practice. Boring.

2. Bags. Mom will pack up tons of things to show the kids, and she will also put her laptop and LCD projector into bags. Bags are usually a LOT of fun. My head fits in there perfectly, and sometimes bags have treats in them. Or bacon. Or cake.

 

But school visit bags are off limits. Mom says the word, “Get your bony little head out of there.” No fun.

1. Kids. Mom will talk to tons and tons of kids at her school visit. I love kids. And they love me. Whenever kids see me, they pet me and hug me and say how cute I am. Plus, kids taste delicious, like candy. And sweat. And dirt. Yum.

 

What Mom likes about author visits.

3. Driving. Taking a road trip is always fun. Of course it would be more fun if I went along, but….

2. Reading. Mom loves reading stories. Story time was her favorite time of the day when she was a little girl at school, and it was her favorite time of the day when she was a teacher. Of course, I also love story time, but….

1. Kids. Mom has talked to hundreds and hundreds of kids in her careers as a teacher and an author. Thousands, maybe. She predicts that the kids at this school will ask her some of the same things kids at other schools have asked, “Are you rich?” and “Did you draw the pictures?” and “One time my dad got his finger stuck in the car door…” which is not a question, but….

 

Love

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I love love. I could kiss, cuddle, and snuggle 24 hours a day. Mom should’ve named me Valentine.

Even though Mom loves me a lot, she apparently does not have time to kiss, cuddle, and snuggle with me 24 hours a day. She says, “Sorry, Sweetie. I have things to do.” and “Go play with your toys.” and “Why are you staring at me?”

Mom loves her work, so she needs time to do that, too. When she was a teacher, she thought it was the best job in the world. Now that she supervises student teachers, she thinks that’s the best job in the world. She also thinks being an author is the best job in the world.

Somebody (Mom thinks it was Kathy Lee Gifford, but it was actually Confucious) said, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” I guess Mom has never worked a day in her life! Isn’t she lucky?

Have a super-special Valentine’s Day filled with lots of love, kisses, cuddles, and snuggles. xoxo

Nutcracker

Mom is watching The Nutcracker ballet on TV. I am too. The remote is still a mystery to me. Although one time I did manage to record a Spanish soap opera by jumping on the buttons just right.

Mom says, “I love ballerinas.” and “I wish I were the SugarPlum Fairy.” and “Stop licking the remote.”  I can’t help it.  The remote tastes like gingerbread, for some reason….

Mr. Clark, my teacher at obedience school said, “A dog needs a boss and a job.” Mom is my boss, of course, and my job is to make people happy. I’m really good at that job. I have another job, too. It’s called sit-stay-down-come-heel-bring-it-leave-it-and-don’t-be-naughty. I may or may not be barely competent at that job.

My dream job has always been to work at a restaurant. I am totally qualified to do this job. I could be a sous chef and taste all of the food to be sure it’s perfect. Even though I occasionally eat goose poop and dirt, I’m sure I’d know a yummy steak if I ever tasted one. I could also be a dishwasher. I am a very skilled plate-licker.

Mom had the job of being a teacher and now she has the job of being an author. Mom LOVED teaching, and she says being an author is a blast. Every day she writes stories, revises stories, and submits stories to publishers. Nothing makes her as excited as an acceptance letter. She likes getting ideas, writing about them, seeing her name in print, seeing her books in the bookstore, and talking to kids about writing. She says, “I have had two dream jobs already!”

Mom’s other dream job has always been to be a ballerina. Anyone who knows her (EVERYONE who knows her) knows she is TOTALLY NOT qualified to do this job AT ALL.  Sometimes Mom worries that she’ll be a one-book-wonder. She says, “If I don’t get an acceptance soon, I may be forced to look into this SugarPlum Fairy gig, after all.”

OMG, Mom. REALLY? Let’s forget her age, body structure, strength, balance, and natural grace.  Has she ever had so much as one dance lesson in her entire life?? NO!

I don’t think she knows that some dreams are not meant to come true. So if she’s ever the SugarPlum Fairy, I will look into piloting fighter jets!