I was tortured last week. First Mom lured me into the bathroom.
Oooh. A trail of chicken! Yes, please.
Then she tricked me into the tub and gave me a bath!
There was splashing and shivering…
…water pouring, crazy amounts of soap suds, 5 entire minutes of standing still covered in sweet smelling conditioner…
…and 3 giant towels.
I tried numerous times to shake the bath off of me, but only succeeded in sharing a little of the bath with Mom. And the walls. And the floor. And the vanity. And the door.
One thing I know for sure is that it was my LAST. BATH. EVER. I could tell because the shampoo bottle is empty.
No more shampoo = No more baths
That’s what it means… Right…?
Mom finished her most recent story. She wrote it and wrote it, revised it like crazy, sent it to her critique group, and then revised it like crazy all over again. Now it’s finished. I’m pretty sure it’s her LAST. STORY. EVER.
That’s what it means… Right…?
Wait. What?
Aarrrgh. She’s starting a BRAND NEW story!
*gulp* Does that mean…..
Oh no!
Cupcake Speaks 
Comments on: "Finished" (76)
ha ha ha ha ha . Oh So Funny !! I also enjoy giving baths to my pet stray dogs. Oh What a Fuss they make !! And yet they love to play on the beach !! I will send you Mom, new shampoo bottles !! Cute Doggie !!
Thanks, C. Making a fuss is an important part of the dog bath experience. Please do not send more shampoo. I’m pretty sure another bath will kill me.
Love and licks,
C
Smack Smack Meowwwwwww!
Nice one…. “Mom will get a new Shampoo very soon, so be prepared for another bath… Smile… Your Dog’s cute… What’s its name ?
Thanks, P. I’m glad you can smile through all this. My name is Cupcake, BTW. Nice to meet you.
Love and licks,
C
Cupcake, I think they have a hidden stash of bath products behind closed cupboard doors,so don’t count on not being high jacked again sometime soon. Lady Caroline
I know you’re usually right, Lady C, but I will hope you’ve got this one WRONG! I guess I will find out next time there’s a chicken trail in the bathroom.
Love and licks,
C
Same here same here….but we roll in some dirt afterwards just to get a message across. Charlie and Bully xxx
Great idea, C and B. Why didn’t I think of that!? Dirt smell beats sweet smell every time, paws down.
Love and licks,
C
Sorry to disappoint Cupcake but mama will get another shampoo bottle……….you look absolutely lovely now . x
Thanks, M. I do enjoy looking lovely, but I’m not sure it’s worth the whole bath thing. I hope it’s a LOOOOONG time before Mom stocks up on shampoo.
Love and licks,
C
Cupcake, I”m so with you, baths are just the worst, EVER! Good job making it through it. I think there should be a contest to see who can share their bath with the most things when we try to shake, shake, shake it off. What do you think? ~Belle
Yes, B. That would be some fun contest! Mom used her strategy of throwing a towel on me every time I started to shake. I still managed to get a few good ones in though. She’s not as quick as she thinks she is.
Love and licks,
C
First of all, how did mom get all those photos with all that shivering and shaking going on? And B. How did you turn into a cartoon like that? Cool! And last, but not last, I hate to tell you, cutie, but you’re not finished and that’s not your last bath! Ooooooo 😉🐶❤️
Aarrgh, G. That is the worst news ever. Mom does say that I act like a cartoon character sometimes, so I guess that’s how she got that picture of me. That said, the rest of the pictures were flat-out part of the bath torture plan. Cruel and unusual….
Love and licks,
C
Oh that chicken trail had bad consequences… like in that story of hansel and gretel… butt the two should just land in the oven while you had to take a bath…. the reality is much harder than a fairytale huh?
You’re right, E. I had it worse than Hansel and Gretel. I think being in the oven would be super fun, plus warm, plus there might be pizza in there! There was no pizza in the bathtub.
Love and licks,
C
We are so sorry that you had to have a bath today Cupcake and we are just delighted we were not on the list to follow!
Lucky kitties! There is nothing to be gained from a bath. All my best, most doggiest smells are GONE. Down the drain – literally.
Love and licks,
C
Didn’t work with these sad eyes did it. Poor you! 🇸🇪
I tried, G. I gave it my very saddest doggie disaster look. But nothing… Just more bubbles and water and scrubbing.
Love and licks,
C
OH! A BATH!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I so understand, Cupcake! Boomer
It was just as bad as you said, B. I smell like a flower instead of a dog!
Love and licks,
C
Humans just don’t get what nice smells really are. They just don’t. Boomer
That was such a nice writing blog!!! So funny!! I am sure next time your Mom will get your favorite shampoo and you will have the best bath ever:)
Thanks, K. In my opinion, the best bath is a dirt bath. Do you think there’s a chance Mom will go for it…?
Love and licks,
C
Cupcake, You are not alone in not liking baths – Chili doesn’t either. He also managed to shake soap all over the bathroom and beyond.
Congratulations to your Mom for finishing her story & your bath time!
Thanks, P. …and BEYOND! So exciting! What is Chili’s secret? I wish I could’ve splashed some bubbles beyond the bathroom. My splashing was all contained.
Love and licks,
C
Don’t you just love the feeling after a bath. I run throughout the house but I hate the bath and so does Kali. So enjoy the afterwards and maybe your mom will forget to buy shampoo.
Shoko
Thanks, S. I am hoping Mom forgets to buy shampoo – for the rest of her life! I also run through the house like a lunatic after my bath, trying to dry myself off by licking and squiggling on the couch and the rug.
Love and licks,
C
Cruel and unusual punishment! Here’s hoping for a great shampoo shortage in the near future.
Thanks, W. From your lips to God’s ears. I hate shampoo.
Love and licks,
C
Ah, the old chicken trick. Many a good dog has been caught in that particular trap. You do look beautiful though, so it’s not all bad. Congratulations to your mum for finishing her story. That’s great news.
Monty and Chicken 🐾
It was so unfair M and C. I mean what self-respecting doggie could resist a chicken trail – even if it’s leading off a cliff!?? I was an innocent victim.
Love and licks,
C
Hello Cupcake!! Long time no squeak
Hope you and hooman have been well apart from the bath incident!!
Squeak soon
Nacho and Noah
xx
We have been doing fine around here. Thanks, N and N. It’s nice to see you squeaking by. Hope you guys are doing OK.
Love and licks,
C
Congratulations on finishing a story! Cupcake, I know there are more baths to come. Archie goes to the groomer. But, in between we have to bathe him and dry his fur with a hair dryer and brush him so he doesn’t tangle. You’re easy.
Hair Dryer!!?? Yikes, P. Mom tried that hair dryer thing on me once a long time ago. I nearly died of a heart attack! She might as well have brought the lawn guys, golf cart, and garbage man into the bathroom. THAT’S how terrifying it was.
Love and licks,
C
Be glad you aren’t a poodle. Archie has to endure the hair dryer twice a month when he’s groomed and when I bathe him.
Cupcake, sweetie, Lexi got a bath every week – believe me, she needed it – never liked or got used to it. It’s just a part of living in the house and being on the furniture and going out to do therapy. Please try to make the best of it and work your Mom for more treats afterward!
Great advice, A. That’s one more way Lexi showed how brave she was. A bath a week blows my mind.
Love and licks,
C
Oh Cupcake…you do a pretty good Taylor Swift imitation (I shake it off, I shake it off…🎶).
That’s what Mom thought, too, M. Then she said, “Be careful what you wish for…” because of how I shook it off on her!
Love and licks,
C
*gasp* you were tricked??!! Shameful!!
That’s what I thought, too! Be careful, kitties. If you see chicken on the floor, DON’T follow the trail!
Love and licks,
C
Momwithoutpaws says she loves starting new bottles of potion and new stories they are all exciting
Mom likes starting a new story, too, F. Personally, I think the END of the shampoo is more exciting than the beginning.
Love and licks,
C
Well Cupcake my little friend, sadly, humans DO tend to start up a new project (bathing their dogs, writing a book) then almost IMMEDIATELY begin a new one (re-bathing their dogs, starting new writing projects)………..so be purrrrrpared……….find a really GOOD hiding spot NOW while you can. Trust me – there will be other tub torture in your future!
Love, Sam
Sadly, S, I’m pretty sure you are right. I still smell like a little, walking air freshener, so I’m safe for now. Once I start smelling like a dog again, all bets are off! Maybe behind the big chair in the living room……
Love and licks,
C
Poor Cupcake! I tried to give Tommy a bath once after he decided to roll around in the ashes of the fireplace. Let’s just say it didn’t turn out well…for me OR Tommy…;~)
LOVE this post!
OMGoodness, D. Fireplace ashes! That’s brilliant, T. Makes me wish we had a fireplace….. Mom gave me a bath because I smelled like a dog! News flash, lady, I AM a dog!
Love and licks,
C
Cupcake…
OMD your mom and mine had the same idea.
Why do they waterboard us so much.
I had to get in a big tub and blow dry too.
Astro
OMGoodness, A. She blow dries you, too??? That is insane! I used 3 towels, the couch and the rug, plus, I tried to lick some of the bath off me. Blow dry… Yikes!
Love and licks,
C
I feel your pain beautiful. Mom gets me in the bathroom and tub with Cheerios. Darn this pot belly of mine! But on the top side – you look twice as beautiful 🙂 And conpigulations to your mom for finishing her story. XOXO – Bacon
Thanks, B. Mom appreciates you conpigulating her. It’s her first conpigulation ever…
Love and licks,
C
If ghostwriter says, “you’ve got dirty feet, Chester,” I run right upstairs and jump into the tub! I love playing in the water! Tell Mom congratulations on finishing her book!
Thanks, C. May I say – you are my idol. You are clearly a smart, courageous, fearless doggie. Water scares me. Plus tem million other things scare me too.
Love and licks,
C
Cupcake, you can’t fall for the chicken trick! You will have to watch out where any mysterious trails of food lead.
That’s easier said than done, S and C. I eat first and ask questions later. I’m helpless in the face of freeze dried chicken. I have to echo my friend Bacon. “Darn this pot belly…”
Love and licks,
C
I’m pretty sure that if you don’t have shampoo then you never have to suffer from another bath! As far as your mom writing…it is going to keep happening. ☺
Thanks, MK. So I can still hope that the empty shampoo bottle means what I think it means. Dirty is relative…. I smell like a dog because I AM A DOG.
Love and licks,
C
Too bad you are not a cat. They don’t get baths.
Darn it, C. Just my luck. Also, I can’t climb trees….
Love and licks,
C
Yes, Cupcake, that means there’s another bath in your future. Glad your mom has started another story! And that you voted too. 🙂
Thanks, T. Maybe the store will be sold out of shampoo. That could happen…..
Love and licks,
C
Well, we were going to say the same thing, we are a bunch of cats here, so we are very lucky in that we don’t get baths since we wash ourselves. You looks all nice and clean Cupcake and it makes you looks very pretty. You all have a great day.
Thanks, M. Kitties are lucky that way. Also they can jump onto the table to steal food and play with stuff….. #skills
Love and licks,
C
Honey, I am afraid it does mean you-know-what. I know moms pretty well. And now, you have told me even if she takes up the carpet and just has her wooden floor that I can jump, skid, run on and score the woods….you are my furriend for EFFUR and EFFUR amen.
Oh yeah, KI! I did it to our floors. I know Mom is proud because she said the word “permanent damage.” and “This is why we can’t have nice things.” I do what I can.
Love and licks,
C
hello cupcake its dennis the vizsla dog hay i think the only thing to do in this sitchooayshun is attak the problem at its sowrse and destroy the shampoo industree!!! i do not like baths eether so i am totaly in!!! we just need to figger owt how to do it!!! ok bye
Thanks, D the V. I’m glad you have the capacity to think so big. I am kind of a small thinker. I actually didn’t even think to destroy the shampoo bottle, let alone the shampoo industry. You’re a good friend. Let’s do this!
Love and licks,
C
Nooooo….MOL… 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy clean day 🙂 ❤
Cups…my golden self understands.🐾🐾🐾
Oh you poor, sweet, thing. When I give my dogs baths, they go outside and roll in the grass/dirt. Have you considered that?
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